London was a mistake. I was desperate for change and to not be alone, but this must be worse. My sister's friends are not very nice at all, the way singaporean people are cliqueish and not very nice. Anyway, they don't speak english. I get in my sister's way, I have nowhere to go. She takes off with them frequently so we both get some breathing space, and more of the same biting loneliness. The shower has no water today, and the shops are closed.

I'm terrified this is the way life will turn out. To hop from one job and city to another with no friends, mediocre boring life, same old routine, alone. Somehow I have surrounded myself with emotionally draining people in st andrews, specifically nick and wendy. I have zero confidence, ambitions or passion for life. This is not who I am, and I'm only 21. I feel sick thinking of going back, but I have no where else to go. Things have gotten stale and lifeless, wallowing in your own filth. I am not well.

I might have fucked up christmas.

I chose not to go home, so the family were going to come up for a holiday. Only they're not coming up till the 27th, which is not christmas. I have no where to go till then, and I am fucking bored out of my mind.

Fucking hell, I wanna slap some bitches around to this song. Make them learn their place, obey their master. Only those that deserve it, of course. Grab 'em by the hair and make 'em kry. Masterrrrr, masterrrrr.

The whole of europe has been hit by crazy snowstorms and a cold wave, and the UK hasn't been spared. Yesterday it snowed in London, and now it's finally starting to snow here. Just enough to build up a tiny layer, but not much else. Still very pretty though, when you come from a tropical country you never really lose that fascination, although snow can be incredibly annoying to walk in.

Proper snow here reminds me of ___, whom I had my first snowball fight with.

Aaaaand Courtney Love calling Frances Bean a Jamie Lynn Spears? Daaaaaaaaaaang, Cuntney, you's one helluva craaaaaaaaaaayzy bitch. But I'mma gonna love you fo' dat, homegurl. Crazy-assed hoebags make the wurld go round. Awesome parenting, you might get along wit' my mom.

Today is Wednesday and I hope I get drunk tonight. Have been drinking since Monday and hope to keep on doing so till the end of the month. Life ain't easy, ese. But Imma gonna roll wit' it the best way I know how to, pretty damn hydrated, on the Right Stuff.